DJC#016 – Temptation Buyland: Unsubscribe from the Unnecessary

Have you ever bought one new thing, only to find yourself caught in a never-ending cycle of buying more? Perhaps there was a time when you bought that new pair of shoes which then led you to purchasing those new pair of jeans? I mean the jeans and shoes have to match. And then why not complete the outfit by adding that new shirt. Oh and let’s not forget that if it’s a cooler time of year, there’s a jacket to add into the mix. Have you ever stopped to think, why do I do this?

The Diderot Effect

There’s a name for is actually – the Diderot Effect. It’s a phenomenon that describes this subtle yet powerful force refers to this tendency for a single new possession to spark a chain reaction of consumption, where each new item feels necessary to maintain a sense of harmony or elevated lifestyle. It’s named after the French philosopher Denis Diderot, who first wrote about it in the 18th century. His essay “Regrets on Parting with My Old Dressing Gown” serves as a cautionary tale.

Diderot recounts how receiving a beautiful new robe as a gift led to a series of changes in his life. The swankiness of the robe highlighted the shabbiness of his other belongings, leading him to replace his furniture, decorations, and even his habits to match the new standard set by the dressing gown. This behavior eventually this led to a self-inflicted financial hardship. The Diderot Effect refers to this tendency for a single new possession to spark a chain reaction of consumption, where each new item feels necessary to maintain a sense of harmony or elevated lifestyle.

In today’s modern world, the Diderot Effect has become even more prevalent, fueled by in your face advertising, social media, and the societal pressure to keep up with trends to be in the know. As parents, we are definitely not immune to its influence. Have you ever bought your child(ren) a toy only then to feel the need to buy the other parts of the set (I’m talking about you LEGO Mario!)? The desire to provide the best for our child(ren) can lead us down a path of constant acquisition, where the pursuit of more becomes the norm. Like all good parenting skills you to pass on to your child(ren), you have to start with yourself and lead by example.

Shield Yourself

There are two ways to look at trying to combat the Diderot Effect: create new good behaviors or make existing bad behaviors more difficult. I find it much easier to start with the bad and work towards the good. Remember Kevin Nealon’s character in Happy Gilmore? He said, “Harness the good, block out the bad.” Start with that.

Like a lot of my thoughts in these newsletters, it all starts with awareness. We are all guilty of this, or have been at some point in our lives. Be aware that it’s “a thing” and recognize if and when you’re doing it. Turn off autopilot and ask yourself, is there a legit good reason for this purchase?

Let’s say you have a wedding or a quinceñera coming up and the only suit you own is the one you wore on your wedding day 10 years ago the no longer fits. Well that sounds like a good reason to need a suit, shirt, belt and maybe even a new pair of shoes. As opposed to I have a work party coming up and I want to look fly, so I’m hitting up the mall and throwing it all in the bag.

Being aware will get you there…or at least half-way.

Unsubscribe from Temptation Buyland

If you don’t want to be tempted, you have to change your environment to resist the temptation. And if you’re living on Temptation Island, well, that’s just going to make it that much harder for you.

First things first, unsubscribe to those marketing emails. I’m serious. I’m so serious that I want you to stop reading this right now and go unsubscribe to at least 5 that are in your inbox. Everything that is not valuable and necessary to you and your family, unsubscribe from it now.

Now that you’re back, let’s proceed. How many emails do you receive on a daily basis related to some company’s marketing campaign? Buy Me! You Need This! You’re afraid that you’ll miss that super sale if you unsubscribe? Well, that’s kind of the point. I’m not saying don’t make purchases. I’m saying don’t make purchases unless you absolutely need them. You decide when you need or want to buy something, instead of an outside influence convincing you need it. Because seeing that deal on one item, usually leads to adding a few more items into your cart. Trust me, I’ve been there more than a few times.

After I unsubscribed from all the marketing emails a few years back, I felt so free from the noise, not to mention it was mentally rewarding to toggle off that switch of being bombarded with purchase temptation. Now I know it’s not foolproof. You can delete them all, and at some point they come back, or you get added to a new list. Try this: go through your emails at least twice a year and unsubscribe from any that you don’t need. Here’s a hint: it’s probably the majority of them.

What’s also not foolproof is the social media adds. I’m guilty of falling for those Instagram adds at times. A little trick I’ve found to help me is to save the post and that way I can come back to it later if I want to. This reduces the impulse of buying the next “cool thing.” Give yourself at least 72 hours before making the purchase, and you’ll find that in many cases you’ll no longer want to buy it.

More Gratitude

As I mentioned back in DJC#002, gratitude has a significant effect on us feeling more positive. It also can help you and your child(ren) when it comes to purchases and preventing being wrapped up in the Diderot Effect.

Foster an attitude of gratitude in yourself and your children. Help you all appreciate what you already have, shifting your focus from material possessions to experiences and relationships. Being grateful for what you have, will help keep you from wanting more of what you don’t need.

Don’terot

Next time you find yourself buying one item after another, remember good ol’ Diderot and the lesson he’s passed on us. Be aware, pause, and ask yourself do I need all of this? If you do, great, buy it. If you don’t, then don’t buy it. Your future self and bank account will thank you. And when your child(ren) grows up, they will thank you too for the lesson you taught them about Diderot.