DJC#023 – 2000 Minutes of Meditation: My Journey to Becoming A Calmer Dad

This week, I want to share a personal journey that’s been a game-changer in my Dad life that I know would benefit you as well – meditation. I’ve meditated for over 2000 minutes this year, and let me tell you, it’s been an introspective ride of calmness, zen, and fewer I’m-about-to-lose-it moments.

The reason I want to share this with you is because I firmly believe meditation can make a huge difference in your life – in everyone’s life, really. So let’s dive into the peaceful world of finding our chill amidst the chaos.

A Podcast And Big Sean

Let’s be real – we’ve all been there. The spilled milk, that triggers an eruption worthy of a volcano documentary, or the LEGO minefield that turns us from Bruce Banner to Hulk-mode in the blink of an eye. I come bearing a journey of hope and transformation.

From the reading, podcast listening and video watching I was doing last year, I noticed a pretty common theme – meditation. It was talked about quite frequently. I think the podcast episode that really got me interested in looking into this meditation thing was Jay Shetty’s ON PURPOSE interview with Big Sean. This energetic hip-hop star was talking about how meditation has helped his success in his creative space with positivity and inner strength (there’s also a second episode that”s just as interesting). And sure, I’ve heard other people talk about it, but the way he was advocating for the audience to take up this practice struck a chord with me.

After listening to that podcast episode, I decided I was going to take some action. So naturally I started comparing meditation apps.

Headspace

After a little research I settled on Headspace for a few reasons. I like the colorful user interface – I had actually seen it before. During the pandemic, the company I worked for got every employee access to the app. I’m pretty sure I logged on once and forgot all about it though.

The second reason is that I had read about the co-founder Andy Puddicombe, who once trained as a monk, and has a soothing British accent that makes the guided meditations easy to listen to. There are also a handful of other guides so you can find the voice that you like best.

Lastly, the family price was a good deal – $100 for 6 people for a year, and I was surprising my stepsons and wife with it as a Christmas gift. I figured I’d find some others family/friends to use the rest. So starting in January 2023, I began using Headspace as many days as possible.

The Meditation Odyssey

2000 minutes of meditation this year – sounds like a lot, right? Well, it’s been 209 sessions that ends up being and average of 10 minutes per session. Now usually I only do one a day, but sometimes there’s an extra one in there. Sometimes I’ll do a meditation for kids with my son (yup, they have those too – Sesame Street and Star Wars themes mixed in), and there’s been plenty of days where I’ve just not done one for one reason or another. You know that ol’ thing called life.

I’m no guru, trust me, but dedicating these pockets of time to meditation has been like a lifeline to my sanity. It’s not about becoming a monk on a mountaintop; it’s about creating a mental oasis in our fast-paced world.

From Triggered to Thoughtful

Have you ever felt that tiny pause before you lose your cool? I never did. It would either be patience, patience, snap or I’d be like Drake going 0 to 100 real quick…real quick. But I’ve noticed something recently – I have more patience. When I’m about to to lose it, I catch myself before I explode. That’s the magic of meditation right there. It’s like upgrading our Dad-brain’s operating system. Instead of reacting like a shaken beer can, I find myself taking a deep breath, assessing the situation, and responding in a way that would make Gandhi proud. Okay, maybe not Gandhi, but you get my drift.

A Time And A Place

Like starting any new activity or building any new habit it takes work. But you can do it. Here are a couple things that have worked for me to build meditation into my daily routine:

Same Time: Meditate at the same time every day if possible. Depending on your individual circumstance, this could be challenging. But in a weird way your body will remember if you do it around the same time.
Same Place: Pick the same place to do meditate. Do you have a favorite chair, couch? You could even sit/lay on the floor. Our son’s beanbag chair ended up in the office, and that’s where I sit. I know that for me, that one spot in that one room is dedicated for one activity.
Start Small: When I first started this practice, I only did 5 minutes…and that wasn’t easy. After a couple months I built up to 10 minutes and eventually 15 minutes – I feel that is the best amount of time for me, but you do you! Depending on how much time you can set, experiment with what works best for you. Maybe that’s 5 minutes, or maybe it’s 30.
Stack with An Existing Habit: When starting a new habit, a technique called habit stacking can be helpful. Pick a habit that’s part of your daily routine (shower, brush your teeth, turn on the coffee maker, etc.) and add the new habit (meditation) directly before, after or in between two existing habits.

The Calm After the Chaos

These 2000 minutes of meditation have woven calm threads into the fabric of my Dad life. I’m not claiming to be a superhero immune to the kryptonite of frustration, but there’s a newfound sense of peace that I did not have previously. The LEGO minefield still exists, but my reactions have shifted from explosion to “Let’s clean this up together, buddy.”

Peaceful Dads = Better Dads

So here’s the deal – meditation isn’t about perfecting the art of sitting still. It’s about finding a space where you can be okay with your thoughts, take a breather, and then approach life’s chaos with a tad more grace. As we navigate this journey in parenthood, let’s remember that even the smallest steps toward calmness ripple into peaceful homes, happy children, and a more centered version of ourselves. After all, here at the Dad Journal Club we’re all about becoming better Dads, right?

Until next Sunday, keep working hard and experiment with meditation to find your zen.